“What’s a lawyer do?”

By David Swanson

The question seemed simple enough. Considering the source, the 5 year-old son of a client in my waiting room, it didn’t seem like a trick question either. Just genuine, wide-eyed, expect-the-truth curiosity.

Hum. Think. Don’t shatter the child’s illusions. But don’t encourage them either. “Cause problems” “Solve Problems.” “Cause Problems.”  “Solve Problems.” Where was that damn coin when I needed it. Enter my secretary to the rescue. “A lawyer helps people honey.”
“Oh,” my little inquisitioner commented, satisfied. He may as well have asked what’s in the center of a tootsie roll. He would have been equally as appeased at the explanation of a thing unknown.  the house is worth (two banks actually – a first mortgage and a second). What he purchased for $500,000.00 is now worth $375,000.00. Both banks have to agree to take less (or “short”) than what they are owed. There’s many, many catches and so our client, wisely we hope, has come to us for guidance and assistance.
Only thing is, the World Has Gone Mad! What used to take a phone call or two to the bank, now takes 20-30 (no kidding). There’s HAMP and HARP and now HAFA – government problems (sorry, programs) to help homeowners, allegedly, and yet no one at the bank even knows what HAMP (“Home Afforadable Modification Program), HARP (“Home Affordable Refinance Program”) and now HAFA (“Home Affordable Foreclosure Alternative”) mean. “LawShelter to Bank Phone Rep in India … Print this e-mail for your records!”
I feel for you dear readers, if you are in this position. I am not one to believe in government conspiracies. O.K., maybe I am, but these programs are only helping the banks get more money to hold on to, to make more interest on, to get bigger and richer and to throw crumbs to the man on the street when a government tool comes around to see what’s what.
Advice. Don’t give up. Never give up. It’s a fight now like never before to survive and if you are weak and if you are expecting someone to be nice and do the nice, kind thing. Hang it up. Fight! Be Christian about it. Remember Matthew 7:12 and treat people, even mean, barely-able-to-read-their-English-script-people kindly. But don’t let them off the hook. Tell them what the law says and demand to have your rights. And it doesn’t hurt to know the rules of the game. Go to makinghomeaffordable.gov. Yes, it’s Orwellian double-speak and yes, THEY really are out to screw you. Don’t let them. If you’re having trouble with your mortgage, see what the program is supposed to do and do your damndest to make them do it. If you’re having trouble, try contacting one of us lawyers too. Help or hurt? Survey says … help.